perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
