so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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