is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
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