His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I'm bleeding and have questions
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
