what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
