So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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