Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Randomize
