my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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