at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
