I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
