Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(720): View more from Colorado

Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure

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(216): View more from Ohio

5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes

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(250): View more from British Columbia

Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.

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(206): View more from Washington

I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.

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(253): View more from Washington

I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat

(1-253): View more from Washington

I think that's a new house record

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(248): View more from Michigan

I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts

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(980): View more from North Carolina

I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?

(704): View more from North Carolina

Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.

(980): View more from North Carolina

He absolutely would.

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