I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
