I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
