I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
