Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
