dude i'm inner monologue high
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
