she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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