At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
