so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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