That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
