I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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