i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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