Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
We are two peas in an std pod
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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