I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
