I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
