oh god the rape fog is back!
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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