Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Holy sore nipples Batman
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize