I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
