Me. At least after what I've been through.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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