Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
