Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize
