just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Ladies don't puke and tell
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
