i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
