you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
