god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
