I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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