STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize