Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
