I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
