quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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