New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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