so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
