babies were throwing up all over the place
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
