Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
