Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
