I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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