Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Randomize
