well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
