My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
