never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
