no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
