what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize