she was so not down for the gang bang
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize