Im at strip club and am horny
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
