the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
