A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
