please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
