so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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