ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
