We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
