we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
