Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
