My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
