I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
