Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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